(Sung to the tune of “Rockin’ Robin”; lyrics by Tim
Loughman, with apologies to Jimmie Thomas and Bobby Day)
He tweets in his jammies all night long,
Tweetin’ an’ twerkin’ and singin’ his song.
All the little birdies down on Right Wing Street
Love to hear the Donald goin’ tweet tweet tweet.
Tweetin’ cretin,
tweet tweet tweet
Tweet excretin’,
tweet tweedle lee dee
Blow, wordy birdy,
‘Cause we’re
really gonna tweet tonight.
Every little wingnut,
every little clown,
Every little
Trumpie in the whole damn town,
The old white coot,
the redneck squab,
Flappin’ their
beaks, sayin’ “Dude, good job!”
Chatty choughy, tweet tweet tweet
Fluffy tuffy, tweet tweedle lee dee
Chirp, scudgy budgie,
‘Cause we’re
really gonna tweet tonight.
Predatory pecker with a big fat dome
Taught himself to gussy up his big bright comb,
Tints an’ tarts an’ shapes it up an’ sure as day
He outshines the toucan and the popinjay.
Tweets as he tries
to get his topknot right.
He tweets in the
mirror as he primps an’ preens
So we can read his
stupid birdshit on our smart phone screens.
Preenin’ weeny,
tweet tweet tweet
Mity meanie, tweet tweedle lee dee
Simper, prissy primper
‘Cause we’re really gonna tweet tonight.
Daddy got him started up in New York land,
Buildin’ nests and rentin’ ’em and it was grand.
Son, he said, if Blackbird asks to rent one please,
Tell ’im sorry
but we’ve got no vacancies.
Tweetin’ an’
twerkin’ an’ jerkin’ along.
All the paratweeties
in the right-wing cage
Love to have the
cretin tweetin’ center stage.
Tricky flicker,
tweet tweet tweet
Sleazy slicker,
tweet tweedle lee dee
Peep, spewin’
sparrow,
Yeah, we’re really gonna tweet tonight.
Gaudy little fraudy with a day-glo do
Hatched a scheme to make an extra buck or two,
Offered business classes for a big fat fee
Through a shabby scam he called a university.
Every hulkin’ vulture, every bird of prey,
Every skulkin’ scavenger on Con Bird Way,
The loan shark
lark, the pay day jay
Bobbin’ their
heads, sayin’ “Dude’s OK.”
Stellar seller,
tweet tweet tweet
Sewer dweller,
tweet tweedle lee dee
Cheep, scummy
scammer,
‘Cause we’re
really gonna tweet tonight.
‘Bout the time
they figured out that they’d been screwed,
Bunch of angry
students went to court and sued.
Shameless sharpy
paid ‘em millions by and by--
Better pay ’em
off than have ’em testify.
He tweets in his
birdhouse, tweets on the links,
Tweetin’ out
whatever silly crap he thinks.
Every time he
tweets another tweet it shows
How close it is
to nothin’ that the birdbrain knows.
Ignoramus, tweet
tweet tweet
Foul and famous,
tweet tweedle lee dee
Blabber, goony gabber,
‘Cause we’re
really gonna tweet tonight.
Nasty little
raptor from a foreign land
Showed him how to steal his job and it was grand.
They started goin’ steady and bless my soul,
Out popped a little orange Cossack troll.
He played to the racists all race long,
Spewin’ out hate an’ thrillin’ his throng.
All the turdy birdies down on White Rage Row
Love to hear ol’ Donny tell ’em “I’m your bro.”
Tootin’ rooster, tweet tweet tweet
Bigot booster, tweet tweedle lee dee
Crow, crockadoodle,
‘Cause we’re really gonna tweet tonight.
Pussy grabber wants to keep the rapists out,
Wants a wall to block the immigration route.
Best thing ‘bout his wall is that it’s free, you know,
‘Cause the tab is gettin’ paid in
full by Mexico.
He struts through the West Wing ’fore the sunrise,
Poppin’ out crap an’ tellin’ big lies.
Doesn’t seem to faze ‘em down on Bird Brain Lane
Just chicken shit an’ feathers up in Donny’s brain.
Huffin’ puffin, tweet tweet tweet
Full o’ stuffin’, tweet tweedle lee dee
Gobble, quirky turkey,
Yeah, we’re really gonna tweet tonight.
Sworn a hundred times he’s gonna build that wall,
Swears that Mexico is payin’, bricks an’ all.
You believe that’s really gonna happen, well,
There’s a certain bridge to Brooklyn that I’d like to sell.
Every propagander in
the Flax News flock,
The fake wrath
rook, the crap craw crane,
Insists despite the evidence the cretin’s sane.
Chicken scratcher,
tweet tweedle lee dee
Rave, loony
goony,
Yeah, we’re really gonna tweet tonight.
In marriage flighty tighty’s got a cardinal rule,
Always gets a prenup first ’cause he’s no fool.
Makes it less expensive when he gets a yen
To do some pussy grabbin’ with another hen.
He tweets in his Fruities all night long,
Squintin’ an’ squawlin’ an’ gettin’ things wrong.
All the correspondents on the White House beat
Love to hear the Donald goin’ tweet tweet tweet.
Touchy feeler, tweet tweet tweet
Wheeler dealer, tweet tweedle lee dee
Coo, luvvy duvvy,
‘Cause we’re really gonna tweet tonight.
Bible thumpers really seem to love the lout—
Hey, Ten Commandments don’t rule pussy grabbin’ out.
Holy rollers figured they would roll the dice
On a gamy gamin’ monger who’s been married thrice.
He tweets in his throne room left and right.
Verbal diarrhea keeps him up at night.
All the flutternutters in his flack flock clap
Every time he tweets another batch of crap.
Potty poster,
tweet tweet tweet
Reamin’ roaster,
tweet tweedle lee dee
Honk, loosie
goosie,
‘Cause we’re
really gonna tweet tonight.
Puffy little tuffy with a trophy wife
Proud of all the rubbish in his white trash life,
Crows about his money and his business smarts,
Boasts of grabbing women by their private parts.
He plays on the golf course all the day long
Puttin’ butt naked, not wearin’ a thong.
Every little penguin in the club house knows
Orange-crested emperor’s got no clothes.
Great pretender, tweet tweet tweet
Chirp, struttin’ perp,
Yeah, we’re really gonna tweet tonight.
Flashy little masher with a coo clucks crew
Hardly ever says a single thing that’s true—
Maybe one exception: that the fix was in
In a vote he sorta won although he did not win.
He lied about Obama, lied about his crowd,
Lies about as often as he talks out loud.
Lied about his taxes, lies about the press,
Lies about as often as he can, I guess.
Phony flyer, tweet
tweet tweet
Brazen liar, tweet
tweedle lee dee
Sing, trillin’
villain,
Yeah, we’re really
gonna tweet tonight.
Starlings in a parody
that just can’t last
Featuring a
narcissistic psychopath
Cavorting with his budgies
in a bird crap bath.
Whistlin’ up the
wind beneath the bigots’ wings,
Bills and coos and
cuddles with the selfsame jay
Whose interference
helped him on election day.
Donald Clucker, tweet tweet tweet
Dictasucker, tweet tweedle lee dee
Quack, little lackey,
Yeah, we’re really gonna tweet tonight.
You’d almost think the GOP had changed a bit,
Having swapped a figurehead of gold for shit.
Lincoln must be turning in his grave by now,
His ship of state converted to a garbage scow.
He struts through the White House all night long,
Twerkin’ an’ jerkin’ an’ lurchin’ along.
All the little pullets in the West Wing know
Donny can’t help it, gotta blow blow blow.
Tweetin’ cretin, tweet tweet tweet
Tweet excretin’, tweet tweedle lee dee
Blow, wordy birdy,
‘Cause we’re really gonna tweet tonight.
Tweedle lee deedle lee dee, twee dwee
Tweedle lee deedle lee dee, twee dwee
Tweedle lee deedle lee dee, twee dwee
Tweet tweet tweet twee
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