The Answer
Is
it better to dress up in feathers,
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| Photo courtesy Wikipedia |
Or
to clam oneself up in a shell?
Or
to play the showboat in a fancy fur coat?
How
is a creature to tell?
Might
one to do better to dress all in wool?
Could
millions of sheep all be wrong?
Or
maybe in frills and porcupine quills.
Maybe
they’ve had it right all along.
Perhaps
we should take our sartorial clues
From
the fish in the sea who wear scales,
Or
the penguins, perhaps, who take showers and naps
And
go swimming in black tie and tails.
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| Photo courtesy Wikipedia |
Or
perhaps one should carry a shell on one’s back,
But
if so, what sort of a shell—
The
curlicue kind or a tough turtle rind?
How is a creature to
tell?
Maybe
the practical tactical tack,
The
safe and sensible course to pursue,
Is
to dress head to tail in a coat all of mail
As the armadillos do.
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| Image courtesy Clipart |
But
I shudder to think of the weight of such clothes.
What
a terrible burden to bear!
Better
flee if need be, or cry “Please spare me,”
And
find something lighter to wear.
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| Photo courtesy Wikipedia |
Now
snakes have a curious custom in dress,
One
I blush just a bit to disclose:
Attire
of which they have tired they ditch,
And
crawl about in their underclothes!
Well,
it’s all very well for a snake in the grass
To
slither about in its drawers,
But
what other beast from a yak to a yeast
Would
be caught dead in its shorts out of doors?
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| Photo courtesy the Baltimore Orioles |
What
we need is a beast of impeccable taste
To
follow in matters sartorial.
Hmmm,
let’s see…a flounder? A flea?
Wait!
I’ve got it! The glorious Baltimore Oriole!
O,
what a hit that foul makes as he takes
With
his mates to the field to play ball,
In
his cleats and his glove, with his cap on above,
The
dashingest player of all!
O,
what a figure he cuts as he trots
Round
the bases and prances toward home!
The
sultan of style! Beyond all denial,
League
leader in looks and aplomb!
And
O, the proud picture he makes as he doffs
His
cap to the boisterous throng!
How
splendid his plumage, his posture and groomage!
How
loud the applause and how long!
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| Photo courtesy National Geographic |
Three
cheers for that Chesapeake champion!
God
bless that brave Baltimore bird!
O
say can’t you see not to dress to a T
Just
as he does would just be absurd?
That’s
it, then—that bird is the answer.
There’s
no finer model to find.
It’s
just indisputable: his uniform’s suitable
For
any and all creaturekind.
So
hear me, I call on all creatures,
In
the sea, on the land, in the sky:
Toss
off your old trappings, your weary old wrappings—
A
new day in fashion is nigh!
Go
hire a tailor or sew it yourself.
Beg,
borrow or steal or make payment.
Do
what you must, just get yourself trussed
Up
in Baltimore Orioles raiment.
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| Image courtesy Wikipedia |
Then
see as you step in your cleats from the door
What
a spring has sprung up in your stride,
What
esteem you receive, what awe you perceive
In the youngsters who
flock to your side.
Just
see as you stride through the door where you work
What
respect you collect from your peers,
How
tender the smile your boss smiles while
You
acknowledge your coworkers’ cheers.
And
see as you come back full circle to home
What
a hero you are in your house,
How
warmly you’re greeted, hugged, high-fived and feted
By
your kids and your dog and your spouse.
And
after all that if you’re still doubtful whether
In
Orioles leggings to dwell,
Just
dwell on the riches you’ve reaped in those britches—
That’s
how a creature can tell.
(c)
(c)
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| Photo courtesy the Baltimore Orioles |
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